true love

i read the people magazine every week. a way to escape the humdrum of everyday life and immerse myself in someone elses. every now and then there is an article that makes me read twice and look into more, i found one this week. it is about a father and daughter. this is interestingly enough about a man who blogs about his life with his daughter. the blog began when the man's wife became pregnant and it was to help family and friends follow the pregnancy. 27 and a half hours after the baby was born, her mother died, but the man continued to blog as a way to keep her memory alive for their newborn daughter. what followed was amazing blog that really captures the human spirit of how we survive when our true love dies (and leaves us alone with a newborn). i found the website...www.mattlogelin.com...and have been hooked. the man takes these incredible pictures and gives a no nonesense look at life with an infant and going it alone in life. the love he has for his wife is amazing, i wonder how people grieve sometimes, but how do you grieve when the love of your life dies and leaves you behind with an infant. thats when you truly see the strength of the human spirit. it shows that people are not perfect, they make mistakes, but they can make it through with some perserverence and hope. Check it out, its funny and serious and unbelievibly full of hope.

A little lost....a little found.

So the week has been crazy busy as usual. We are getting ready to move into the new portion of the building and its a matter getting everything in order. Along with finishing all the end of year crap, its been a bit overwhelming. I sometimes feel I am being pulled in 20 different directions at work, trying to please everyone and taking no time to concentrate on my work. As a result I am so far behind on all of my stuff, while getting everything caught up for everyone else. So when we have our meetings and I can't explain why my stuff isn't done, but hey, everyone else is doing great. I hope sometimes my boss realizes that I am working my butt off everyday.
Switching gears....my brother is getting married in October! I am really excited because: 1) I love his fiancee, she brings out the best in him, 2) its in Vegas, and 3)I will get to see my brother again. For those who don't know my brother lives in California, bout a hour outside of San Francisco. Now here comes the fun part of trying to be able to find the money to go to Vegas. We are talking about driving. We looked at ticket prices and its gonna run close to $400 per person. Along with hotel and everything, there would be no way. Hopefully the driving will work out.
Still no news on the baby-trying front, maybe by the time we go to Vegas we will have another little Wagner on the way, but regardless I am really happy with the two boys I have.

Old Friends New Friends

I went out last night with my oldest friend, Faith, we have been friends since first grade in Ms. Walden's class at Harper. Faith and I have grown apart over the years, but never really lost touch. We have had those disagreements that every friendship has, but have maintained throughout. In April we really began to become close again, and from there she began working in my office and so on and so forth. I would like to think that true friends can stay friends with even the biggest and longest distance between them.
I am not one to make a lot of friends, maybe my trust issues, but I know that I can count on her and I hope she feels the same for me. She has become the most amazing mother I could have ever imagined and when i call her to ask what I should do for my child that is lying or my child that won't listen, she doesn't act like I should already know the answer but guides me in the right direction.
So we made a "resolution" of sorts to at least go out one night a month without husbands or children. So here's to a new year again with old friends that make the best new friends!

New Year

I sometimes used to wonder if the new year was really a new beginning or just a continuation of whats to come. Kind of makes my head hurt now. I have been struggling the past few months to gain some balance, some understanding of the going-ons in my life. I think that as a person gets older they begin to question should I have done this, could I have done this instead, am I making the right choices? I try to live with no regrets. God didn't put me here to question the path to Him only to follow. I know that He will only give me what I can handle and He gave me the tools to get where I need to go.
Sometimes I question if I have made the right decisions for my children. I think as far as regrets go I don't want to regret anything about how I raised them. I don't want to question my decisions everyday on my parenting, but then I think that maybe that is what a parent is...constantly questioning whether we are making the right decisions. I love my family but is it necessary to have to constantly remind myself that?
So we begin a new year, I have a lot to look forward to...Michael turning 4, Curtis turning 12, and Bryan and I getting to 12 years. I want to do a lot this year. I want to begin writing a book, and to lose A LOT of weight, but I wonder if I have the dedication to do this. My first promise is to blog instead of holding it all in to let it explode. So my first resolution...as resolutions go, to blog at least 2 times per week. Just an update on what I resolve to do this year.